The Year in Reading: 2024

I’ve been doing these year-end roundups of my reading for a couple-few years now. It’s always illuminating to see what my aggregate choices are because it’s not like I have a plan starting in January. I’ve largely stopped writing reviews beyond the tossed off observation nor do I get much in the way of ARCs anymore, so this is me left to my devices. I feel like I’m still kinda coming out of my pandemic slump when I couldn’t read anything but historical romance or real light fantasy. Apparently I’m now deep in the rompy space opera phase of my years long depressive episode. I’m still reading a fair amount of fantasy, urban or otherwise, but the regressive politics of a lot of historical romance have put me off the genre for now. There are exceptions, but I’m sticking with well-vetted authors for the time being.

Zombies

Obviously I’m a nutbar about zombies, and I presume every year I’m going to have a half dozen or more zombie novels on the list. I did Zombruary, as usual, but then worked my way through the bonus books as the year went on. We’re well past the zombie heyday of 10-15 years ago, so in general the stuff being published now tends to be odd and oblique, coming at the metaphor of the undead in unusual ways. There’s some zombie books I read this year that were published earlier, when zombies tended to be more Romero-style shamblers, but it was the more recent narratives which strayed from that style that I found satisfying.

Domino Falls by Tananarive Due and Steven Barnes. I read the first in this series, Devil’s Wake, last Zombruary, and really enjoyed it. It’s YA with a diverse cast of characters road-tripping through the zombie apocalypse. They have the opportunity to stop running for a bit when they’re taken in by Domino Falls, a seemingly zombie-free town. The little bit of safety and normalcy they experience there is such a temptation, because it’s obvious there’s something completely sus about the compound out of town run by an L. Ron Hubbard-y cult leader. Domino Falls doesn’t reinvent the wheel or anything, but the revelations about the source of the zombie plague are surprising. I will die mad that no one saw fit to publish the third book in this trilogy.

Silent City by Sarah Davis-Goff. I also read the previous book, Last Ones Left Alive, last Zombruary. Silent City takes place 6 years later. The main character (and narrator), Orpen, is now about 20, living in the titular silent city — which used to be a neighborhood in Dublin — and working as a Banshee, a fighter in an all-female paramilitary group. There aren’t many post-apocalyptic stories which take place decades after the cataclysm, and the slow pan of modernity being swallowed by relentless nature was very powerful — the sequence in the airport was gorgeous. Orpen continues to be kind of a stick, but I like that the damage in her narration is caused by naivete more than anything.

Eat Your Heart Out by Kelly deVos. My complaints: too many point of view characters with same sounding voices and a strangely plausible but squishy ending (especially given the swerve into somewhat pulpy territory in the second act.) Otherwise this YA novel is a delight: snarling, funny, and occasionally poignant with a plot that positively zips. The set-up is wonderfully subversive: a bunch of kids at a fat camp have to fight a zombie outbreak. Eat Your Heart Out is absolutely furious about how much bullshit fat kids — and especially girls — have to endure. While there is a somewhat didactic message to the novel, it never sacrifices forward momentum and harrowing sequences for the cause.

A Questionable Shape by Bennett Sims. I think one’s enjoyment of this musing literary take on zombies hinges on how much daylight you think there is between the main character and the author. Like if Sims thinks, yeah, this dude is amazing and insightful, that’s all insufferable. But I don’t think he does, and therefore A Questionable Shape is something like a satire, but not as aggressive. There’s def a DFW philosophy major vibe to the proceedings, complete with endnotes, though — and this me being kinda bitchy — DFW is significantly funnier. 

I do think it’s notable — again — how accurately zombie fiction written before the pandemic captures the pandemic. Sims captures the worry and interpersonal conflict of people in lockdown so well, and I feel like this is the most naturalistic zombie outbreak I’ve ever read: there’s not a lot of arm-wheeling and violence, more wearing, anxious boredom cut with strange pleasures. One of my strongest memories of lockdown, for example, was driving to work in an empty downtown, cresting the hill and watching the sun rise over the water, and the feeling of both wonder and desolation. Just like that.

Grievers by adrienne maree brown. Probably unsurprising that something called Grievers ended up being intensely sad, but I was still both filled and emptied by how sorrowful this novel ended up being. Dune’s mother one day just stops in place, standing over the sink. Dune takes her to the hospital where they declare her catatonic but not in a coma, with the implication that she’s kinda putting it on. Dune takes her home, where she withers and dies. A week later there’s a knock on the door: Dune’s mother was patient zero for an unknown illness, and all over Detroit, people just stop. The illness only affects Black people, and the novel follows Dune through Detroit’s accelerated emptying while she grieves her mother, her family, and the city itself.  

I believe it would be customary at this point to call Grievers “a love letter to Detroit”, which is as true as any such facile observation goes. But it felt to me more like the visitations I went to as a child, with the dead on display while the garrulous and sometimes fractious family carries on living, peeking into the casket to remark on the states of the body. Grief often feels like anger, just as fury sometimes results in tears. Grievers is sad, yes, but it’s also furious and hopeful and resigned and guilt-ridden, all bound together like the bones of Dune’s mother, cremated in her own back yard by her daughter. Amen. 

Roadtrip Z series by Lilith Saintcrow (Cotton Crossing, In the Ruins, Pocalypse Road, and Atlanta Bound.) Saintcrow is one of those journeyman writers I’ve noticed but never read, and this was the year to give her a try. I started with The Demon’s Librarian, which I didn’t like: Felt like a tent pole for a series that never got written. The mythology is both over-complicated and under-explained, but the thing I really disliked was the constant rapey thoughts of our ostensible love interest, a weird choice for an otherwise quite chaste novel. I figured I’d give her one more go with the Roadtrip Z series, because zombies.

Roadtrip Z must have been published during that minute when everyone was serializing everything, so each book is more installment than coherent narrative. As such, the books feel padded at times, drawing out the proceedings with same-y seemingly zombie attacks and scavenging. (This is a common feature of serialized fiction, like, you know, Dickens. Though replace zombies with Victorian capitalists. Same/same.) But the padding affords a more languorous journey to and through the actual zombie apocalypse, which gives room to Saintcrow to write some hella character studies of more minor characters. But occasionally her hero still seems like a panty-sniffer? He does improve as the series goes on, for sure. Anyway, totally cromulent insomnia read for me.

Death Among the Undead by Masahiro Imamura. Death Among the Undead enlivens the shin honkaku genre by adding zombies to the mix, wocka wocka. The set up is thus: a bunch of college-aged sex pests and the women they prey on go on a retreat in the country. This same group of sex pests did this retreat the year before, and clearly messed up the women on that retreat so bad that there was at least one suicide. Zombies attack; the group gets trapped in the dormitory; someone starts picking off the sex pests in impossible locked room scenarios. All of that is delightful, of course, but I’m just not much of a mystery reader, and this is a mystery first and foremost. Like it seemed insane to me that everyone was standing around playing talking dog detective when there were FUCKING ZOMBIES OUTSIDE what is wrong with you. Anyway, not to be a drag. If you like clever locked room mysteries, this is a fun little novelty, but that’s ultimately all it is.

Revival, Vol. 1: You’re Among Friends by Tim Seeley, et al. I don’t think I ever finished out this comic series because I have a bad habit of wandering off midway through a series, so I thought I’d have another go at it. In the town of Wausau, Wisconsin, all the people who died on one specific day get back up. They’re not classical zombies — shambling, decomposing killers — but they’re still occasionally uncanny and the whole situation disturbing. The town is quarantined and then the real fun begins. I absolutely adore the whole Midwestern Noir vibe of this series. Super good.

It Lasts Forever and Then It’s Over by Anne de Marcken. For a genre that often includes the sudden, violent end of a person’s loved ones, zombie stories often don’t address grief all that well. I can think of a couple. The aforementioned Grievers, fittingly, is suffused with sadness, while Zone One by Colson Whitehead considers loss through the eyes of a depressive, which is its own kind of sorrow. Though it is lightly, carefully touched, grief is the burnt frozen center of It Lasts Forever and Then It’s Over, the kind of thing seen out of the corner of the eye and in confusing circumlocutions, as the very language breaks down. What even are you talking about? The zombie’s hunger, its sense of cold emptiness, can work a wonder as a metaphor for the hard shocking losses that find you putting one foot in front of the other, watching from outside yourself as you continue on. There you go, you think, but you’re still sitting right here. 

The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy by Megan Bannen. Not quite fair to tag this as a zombie novel, because while there are undead, the story is more an epistolary enemies-to-lovers set in a truly strange fantasy land. The setting is this odd mix of modern — like there are phones and something like cars — and magical, with a central religion that is just neat. Mercy, who works as an undertaker in the family business falls into a courtship by letters with Hart, who is something like a forest ranger, if instead of trees there are zombies. I thought the opening was rough — Bannen doesn’t handhold too much, which I appreciate, but then the world is very weird and I could have used a little more explanation — but! it tightens up considerably in the second half. I was really into it by the end, which is great, because I just figured out this is the first of a series. Would read more in a second.

Space Opera

I haven’t been super into space opera because so much of the early stuff is, what, often imperialistic in ways I find unpleasant? Especially the books that lean more military sf — those stories can get downright jingoistic. But I feel like there’s been a lot of writers taking the societal microcosm of the space ship and doing some cool shit with that. Like Rivers Solomon in An Unkindness of Ghosts addressed chattel slavery on a generation ship, beautifully, awfully. In the other direction, Becky Chambers’s Wayfayers series is shot through with an ordinary sort of kindness in extraordinary circumstances. (Honestly, sometimes ordinary kindness feels extraordinary, especially given the current political climate.) Anyway, so I read a lot of rompy space opera this year.

Only Hard Problems by Jennifer Estep. I read the previous two in this series, Only Bad Options and Only Good Enemies, last year. They’re the kind of books in which there are things that drive me straight up a wall — the world-building ranges from clumsy to downright convenient, and the in-world neologisms hurt my feelings — but they have a pulp energy I really dig. (I’m not so much of an asshole I’ll hate-read an entire series, so know that if I say something annoys me in a series I’m still reading, I mean it affectionately.) They also feature a sort of science fictional mate bond which is depicted as mostly a nightmare, and I love when writers go after that trope. (This will become a theme in my reading.) Only Hard Problems wasn’t that great though: It’s a novella acting as a bridge to the next novel, which is fine, but I’m almost always better off reading this sort thing after I read the next novel. (This will become another theme.) Oh well.

Finder by Suzanne Palmer. I feel like fans of the Expanse series by James S.A. Corey might enjoy this. It has a similar, if smaller, vibe, maybe with a little early William Gibson thrown in. Furiously paced space adventure that leans into the gee whiz tech while still being pretty grubby. Our main character is the ridiculously named Fergus Ferguson, who comes to a backwater community to steal a space yacht back from a local gangster. The locality is made up of variously sized space junk and habs, and many of the smaller communities are actively at each other’s throats. Fergus’s interventions end up upsetting the balance, and everything goes spectacularly to hell. There’s weird (and terrifying) aliens, jury-rigged IEDs made of sex toys, crawling through Jeffries tubes, space roaches, Saudukar-like religions, and so much more.

Calamity and Fiasco by Constance Fay. I wasn’t over-wowed by Calamity or anything — the main character is a little bit of a boo-hoo rich girl — but it’s the kind of story that has a secret underground weapon in a volcano, and the main characters are delighted to keep saying “volcano-weapon base,” lol. I really appreciated the way world-building worked as foreshadowing in Fiasco, which isn’t as easy as it looks. Plus the world was just cool, with a floating city circumnavigating a planet. Real care was put into how the inhabitants of such a place would interact with their environment. I’m also very amused by Fay’s invented insult “priap” which obv comes from the Greek god Priapus, who was a fertility god known for his huge dong. Lol, nice.

Warrior’s Apprentice by Lois McMaster Bujold. I read the Cordelia books in the Vorkosigan series (Shards of Honor and Barrayar) absolutely ages ago and totally dug them (hat tip to my friend Elizabeth for turning me onto them) and then never read on because I have a problem wandering off. This spring when I went to a local con, I had the opportunity to have dinner with Bujold (I’m brutally name-dropping here; there were like eight of us at dinner) and she was lovely, so I finally started the Miles books. This is a lot of fun! Miles is a precocious but disabled rich kid who manages the most incredible mix of falling upwards and getting in his own way. Bujold also does the thing where she lulls the reader into the sheer fun of the goings on, and then casually rips your fucking heart out.

Red Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson. Red Mars follows the first 100 colonists to Mars, starting from the 2 year space journey to Mars up to the original 100 being almost overwhelmed by the colonizing Earthlings. I feel like KSR generally does an excellent job of mixing hard science with actual characterization, and while that’s generally true here, I did occasionally get a little antsy with the science stuff slash descriptions of landscape. Which is funny, because I don’t think the novel would be better at all if that was redacted. It is important that we get a real sense of the scope, scale, and difficulty of colonizing Mars. I think my problem might have been listening to the audio during the commute, which doesn’t do much for leisurely descriptions of the Martian landscape spooling past.

Steal the Stars by Ann Aguirre and P.T. Maylee. Sorry to say I actively hated this, because I really, really like Aguirre. I dig her books because while they’re not showy, her novels are well constructed and often quietly subversive. And this is a harder thing to put my finger on, but I get the impression she really enjoys writing? Like there’s a joy under her prose? Obvs most writers do it because they love it, so I’m not sure what I’m trying to get at, but there is a sort of enthusiasm that feels very soothing to me. Alas, I found Steal the Stars clumsily written with a whole raft of characters I found annoying. I will not be continuing this series.

Full Speed to a Crash Landing by Beth Revis. This one is kind of a redemption arc for me like Road Trip Z, because I didn’t like the first Revis book I read ages ago called Across the Universe. (It hit too many of my pet peeves, which isn’t necessarily its fault.) I loved Full Speed to a Crash Landing. While the setup is something you can find in just scads of space fiction — loner captain wiseass decides to work with potentially terrible colonial-space-fleet types to do space fuckery — I thought the main character was just great. So many of these loner captain types are eaten up with their tragic backstory. While Ada Lamarr may have a tragic backstory, she’s not going to let that get in the way of being awesome. Also, and this may be a spoiler, it turns out the whole thing was a heist, and I fucking love space heists.

Michelle Diener gets her own line item because I read a lot of her stuff.

Class 5 series by Michelle Diener. I finished off last year reading the absolute shit out of Diener’s Class 5 series. They’re not particularly inventive — the aliens all have a single defining trait, and the universe is Star Trek lite — but I found them so compulsively readable. The kind where you’re like, just one more chapter, and then curse yourself the next day for staying up until 2am reading. The sixth book in the series, Collision Course, came out just a couple months ago, and when I went to read it, I realized there was some stuff that tied back to a novella I’d never read, Dark Ambitions. So I went back and read that. It was fine, but like Only Hard Problems, I probably could have skipped it. In Collision Course, Diener moves away from the standard plot of the first books — abducted Earth woman makes friends with a potentially evil AI, a plot which was frankly getting tired — to good ends. Also, there’s a believably pregnant woman as the protagonist, which you never see.

Verdant String series by Michelle Diener. I began this year by reading the absolute shit out of Diener’s Verdant String series: Interference & Insurgency, Breakaway, Breakeven, Trailblazer, High Flyer, Wave Rider Peacemaker, and Enthraller. I didn’t vibe on this series as much as Class 5 at first. The characters are very similar to the ones in Class 5 — Diener excels at a certain kind of competent but not overpowered woman who doesn’t spend too much time either self-indulgently crying about her tragic past or preening about how she’s not like other girls — but the series isn’t as space opera-y, tbh. The titular breakaway planets are corporate-controlled hellscapes outside the jurisdiction of planets ruled by, like, representative democracy or whatnot, which I can dig because I get to froth at the mouth about capitalism. They do steadily get more intense as the evolving plot going on the background of each largely standalone installment ramps up. I think my favorite is Wave Rider, which made me literally gasp out loud when one of the assholes trying to kill our heroes took a shot at some alien whales. That’s the kind of sentence that will indicate to you whether you’ll like this as well.

I also read The Turncoat King and Sky Raiders by Diener, both of which are the first book in their respective series. The Turncoat King isn’t even space opera; it’s more generic high fantasy than generic science fiction. I thought a magical system based on traditional women’s work — needlepoint, in this case — was interesting, but everything else was kind of blah. Not bad, but also not great. Sky Raiders depicts a clash of high- and low-tech cultures, with a little bit of indistinguishable-from-magic thrown in. Basically space-faring aliens have been abducting people from a world with Renaissance-level technology. The whole set up has similar vibes to The Fall of Il-Rien series by Martha Wells which I read last year and really enjoyed, but, and I don’t mean this meanly, The Fall of Il-Rien is significantly cooler.

Various Series…es that I Started/Continued/Finished/Reread

I always have dozens of series that I’ve started and never completed, meant to get back to, whatever. Then there’s the series that are still being published, which I occasionally have enough forethought to keep up with. I’ll also revisit stuff when I feel bad for a comfort read. So this will be that.

The Earthsea Cycle by Ursula K Leguin. Y’all know my thoughts about Le Guin, so you can imagine how satisfying it’s been to revisit a series that has etched itself in my bones. Last year I reread the first two Earthsea novels, A Wizard of Earthsea and The Tombs of Atuan. Those two novels almost function as a dialectic between traditional concepts of gender: A Wizard of Earthsea is a classic hero’s journey about a gifted but arrogant young man; The Tombs of Atuan is that, but in reverse, so it’s not like that at all. The thing I love so much about Le Guin is how she can so perfectly express something, but then come back to that expression over and over, in ways that find that expression changed, and both the origin and the change can be true.

So I read the next three Earthsea books — The Farthest Shore, Tehanu, and Tales from Earthsea — which were an interesting mix. I didn’t groove on The Farthest Shore as much as I remembered. The antagonist felt remote, and the divine right of kings messaging felt a little off, given Le Guin’s oeuvre. Tehanu is still the absolute banger I remember it being, and possibly more so. I think it’s the kind of book one appreciates as one gets older, which is the neatest thing to find in a series that started life as young adult novels. I wasn’t that into Tales From Earthsea when I read it first, but it’s grown on me, especially given the excellent afterword that I don’t think I’ve read before. This year I’ll finish up with The Other Wind for sure.

The Grief of Stones by Katherine Addison. The Grief of Stones is a direct sequel to The Witness for the Dead, which I read last year, and shares a world with The Goblin Emperor, which I read long enough ago that I’m not sure what the connections are. I’ve enjoyed this series so far: it has an attention to bureaucracy that I love, and is a procedural with something like a psychic coroner as the lead. The real thing I love is that the main character is a nuclear hot mess — like white hot — but he’s also super competent in a quiet, unflashy way. Or I guess that happens a lot in detective fiction, but he’s also not an abusive addict slash dickhead and his hot-mess-ness is grief-based more than anything, which is much more rare. I also love the slow burn thing with that one guy. Like I’ve been in this world long enough that when that one person switches from the formal you to the personal one, I gasped.

Psy-Changeling by Nalini Singh. I will forever be on my Psy-Changeling bullshit. Forever. So this year I reread both Heart of Obsidian and Shards of Hope. Heart of Obsidian is easily my favorite of the whole series. Singh is always good at writing lovers recovering from serious childhood trauma — the Psy are a people traumatized on racial and generational levels — but it’s especially well done here. Rereading Shards of Hope, which I also dug for its suspense/thriller stylins, ended up being fortuitous. That’s where we’re first introduced to the characters in Primal Mirror, the most recent novel in the series, which I also read this year. I did not dig Primal Mirror. Even though the degradation of the PsyNet is accelerating and its collapse imminent — which would effectively genocide the Psy race — the events of Primal Mirror feel remote and disconnected. Which lead me to believe that there was going to be some 11th hour nonsense pulled out of thin air, which duly happened. I tend to find Changeling alphas insufferable, and while our romantic hero Remi Denier isn’t near the worst (*cough* Lucas Hunter *cough*) he still is what he is, which is utterly basic.

The Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch. I continued this series largely on my commute on audio. The reader for the series, Kobna Holdbrook-Smith is just stupid good, with a facility for the fine gradations of the accents in the British Isles. I am also here for the architecture porn. I finished three novels — Whispers Underground, Broken Homes and Foxglove Summer — in addition to a novella — What Abigail Did That Summer which takes place concurrent to Foxglove Summer. Whispers Underground is the third in the series, and still a romp for the most part. It’s at the end of Broken Homes — which features so much brutalist architecture <3 — when shit really goes pear-shaped. Aaronovitch retreats to the country in Foxglove Summer which I was initially apprehensive of: the stories heretofore were so embedded in London that I didn’t know if decamping to Surrey was going to work. It did, often because of murderous unicorns, but I am looking forward to getting back to London. What Abigail Did is another interstitial novella, and switches protagonists to the main guy’s cousin, Abigail, which I both was and wasn’t into. I thought she was often funny in the way kids are funny about the olds, but then sometimes the boomer behind the character shone through. But I do love a carnivorous house, so.

Crowbones by Anne Bishop. If you’ve read much Bishop, you know how infuriating her books can be: when she’s good, she’s good, and when she’s bad, nngggghhh, and you never know which you’re going to get. Written in Red, for example, takes a stock Bishop character — the gormless ingenue whose helplessness inspires devotion — and makes her work so well you don’t even notice how fucking annoying that kind of character is. Furthermore, the world of The Others (which both Written in Red and Crowbones take place in) is the kind of alternate present that I groove on: recognizably modern, but with a large scale disordering element, like the introduction of magic or something similar. (Sunshine by Robin McKinley is a good example.) But sometimes Bishop’s bad habits and writing tics overwhelm everything, and you end up with Crowbones, a novel in which everyone’s motivations are so stupid it’s insulting. She’s also got it out so hard for academics it makes me wonder if a PhD candidate killed her dog or something. I would normally chuck something like this pretty quickly, but I kept hoping it would improve like the previous Others book, Wild Country, which also started out annoying to me, but then improved drastically as it went on. Alas. 

Bitter Waters by Vivian Shaw. I have enjoyed the other Greta Helsing books, and I’m still looking forward to the newest installment coming out this year, Strange New World, but this novella feels inert and inessential. (My dissatisfaction with sidequel novellas has been such a theme this year I will probably stop reading them going forward, something I only figured out writing this list.) The Greta Helsing books are about a descendant of Dracula‘s van Helsing acting as a doctor for the supernatural instead of hunting them. This story kicks off with a newly turned child vampire coming under Greta’s care, a child who was turned against her will in what feels like a coded sexual assault. But then much of the focus of the novella was on Ruthven’s emotional crisis. Honestly, I didn’t get why he was having a crisis in the first place, because it wasn’t about what happened to that child, and immortal children are like the worst thing I can think of (e.g. Claudia et al.). Fine but not great.

Subtle Blood by K.J. Charles. It had been a hot minute since I read the first two books in the Will Darling trilogy set in post-WWI Britain, so I was occasionally a little confused by the overarching plot, but it wasn’t a problem in the end. We get an up close view of Will’s lover, Kim’s horrific family, as the mystery plot concerns Kim’s brother, the heir apparent, being charged with a murder he all too plausibly could have committed. The real meat of the story is Will coming to terms with what the war did to his emotional capacity: Kim quite desperately needs Will to make their relationship a bit more than unspoken, while Will had the ability to plan for the future knocked out of him in the trenches. The last of the Will Darling novels pretty much sticks the landing.

The Liz Danger series by Jennifer Crusie & Bob Mayer. I listened to all three Liz Danger novels — Lavender’s Blue, Rest in Pink and One in Vermilion — on the commute, and they were perfect for it. Crusie is one of the few people who writes contemporary romance that doesn’t make me break out in hives, and Mayer (apparently) writes military thrillers. (I’ve never read his stuff.) Together, they are magic. The series follows one Liz Danger, who breaks down outside of the shitty small town in Ohio she escaped from 15 years previous, and then gets sucked right back into all that bullshit. Even though there’s a lot of quipping, borderline absurdity, and hijinks, there is some deep shit going on under the surface. Like Liz’s mom has collected close to 400 teddy bears, and though dealing with the bears is a funny motif, Liz’s mom is actually awful. When Liz finally confronts her, I felt the terrifying rush of that in my bones. Plus there’s a crooked land deal, and I love a crooked land deal. (As my Dad would note: you don’t have to say crooked.)

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik. This series has been on my list for a long time because I find the idea of Napoleonic Wars + dragons to be delightful, but it took me a while to get into this. The main character, Capt Laurence, is a total stick, and I got sick of how prissy he was through the first two thirds. But he has a couple humbling experiences and loosens up considerably as the novel progresses. His dragon, Temeraire, with whom he bonds in a way reminiscent of the mechanic in Dragonflight, is the freaking best, and I love how he constantly challenges or punctures Lawrence’s (and Georgian England’s) dumb ideas. While I think the middle drags a little, with Temeraire and Laurence grinding and leveling up, the final dragon battles are thrilling as hell. 

Absolution by Jeff VanderMeer. Per usual, Vandermeer is a godamn master wordsmith. In the first novella — Absolution is three novellas stacked in a trenchcoat — I kept having to go back and reread sentences because there’s something subtly and persistently off about where they end up. It’s not a mistake or bad grammar or something, but deliberate weirdness that enhances the more overt weirdness of the situation. (I read this with two other people, and they had this experience too, so I wasn’t just tired/menopausal. Plus, I could not read this anywhere near bedtime, lest the screaming fantods infect my dreams.) I enjoyed the first and last section better than the middle, which I thought dragged a little. And this is on me, but while I’d listened to the entire Southern Reach trilogy not that long ago, the details had drifted enough that I was occasionally at sea as to the import of various events. I strongly recommend brushing up on anything that intersects with Lowry and Whitby, and you’ll get more out of Absolution. 

Historical Romance I Could Handle

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve had a hard time with historical romance recently. So mostly what I read was books in a series I was already following.

The Earl Who Isn’t by Courtney Milan. Enjoyable conclusion to the Wedgeford Trials series, about a small town in Victorian England people by a significant population of Asian ex-pats. While I liked the main couple and all, Milan really excels at writing complicated relationships between parents and their adult children. Nice asexual rep, if you’re into that sort of thing.

The Beast Takes a Bride by Julie Anne Long. The Beast Takes a Bride catches up with a couple five years after their estrangement, a break which happened on their wedding day. The story moves forward and backward in time quite adroitly, uncovering the initial conflict and working towards rapprochement at the same time. I continue to love the found family themes in The Palace of Rogues series, as well as the space given to minor characters to have their own lives and interests, irrespective of the romantic plot. We get to attend a donkey race in this novel, for example, something alluded to as a most beloved pastime of the often crass and flatulent Mr Delacourt. As usual, Long’s prose is top shelf stuff. She knows how to build a theme and just slay you with a tiny, careful observation. (I also reread Beauty and the Spy which was a little overstuffed as the first in a series, but still enjoyable.)

Riffs, Updates, & Intertexts

A number of the books I read this year were based on or heavily alluded to a classic. These are they.

Exit Ghost by Jennifer R Donohue. Gender-flipped contemporary Hamlet that leans hard into the witchery underneath the play. Juliet Duncan was almost killed by a ricochet when her dad was assassinated. Six months later she gets out of the coma, and promptly performs a ritual to call her dad’s ghost, in an altogether badass version of the battlement scene. While not narrated by Jules, the story is a close third person, and the effects of her traumatic brain injury make events feel strange and wiggling sometimes, in addition to all the witchery. Very similar vibes to Scapegracers by H.A. Clarke, which I read last year and highly recommend — the magic, the queerness, the scrabbling youth — but an older iteration: maybe just out of college (or that age), and competent enough to be fucking dangerous. Really good.

Ghosted by Amanda Quain. Well-considered modern take of Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey, one which doesn’t aim to capture Austen’s winsome comedy of manners and affectionate satire, but instead mines the source material for themes not explored in text. To wit: the haunting of grief, and the way belief creates ghosts when it dies. The adaption is also gender-flipped, narrated by a girl version of Henry Tilney, who, when you think about it, is a much more complicated character than the lovely milk-fed Catherine Morland. I’ve gotten too old for most YA, but this worked for me, and not just because of the intertext. Good.

Exit, Chased by Baron by Aydra Richards. This almost strays into sentimental novel territory, in that the main girl is a virtuous woman who suffers undeserved persecution with noble silence … but then eventually she drops the martyr act, thank God. The titular baron, the one both doing the persecuting and the romantic lead, also sees the error of his ways and settles into a satisfying amount of groveling. I love a good grovel. There’s also a somewhat questionable but nevertheless coherent intertext with Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale, which is def one of the Bard’s very minor works. (I think it’s his last play, and most Shakespeare types believe he didn’t write the second half.) Not essential reading, but good for what it was.

Graphic. No, not that way. Ok, maybe a little that one time.

As I mentioned last year, I feel like I’ve lost whatever thing it was that kept me semi-current with comics, so it’s another poor showing this year. I should probably pick up some of the manga the kids are always entreating me to read.

Trees by Warren Ellis, et al. I read the three collected volumes of TreesIn Shadow, Two Forests, and Three Fates — because I started this series a million years ago and wandered off. Apparently, everyone else wandered off on this series too, because there are only three volumes, and it feels very unfinished. At some time in the recent past, alien megastructures have landed all over earth, shifting the climate both literally and politically. The trees work as a decent metaphor for climate change in the first two volumes, but the third hares off to a loosely connected plotline. Which would have been fine if this series continued, but as it stands, it’s disappointing and unresolved.

Square Eyes by Luke Jones & Anna Mills. While I love a dystopian cyberpunk hellscape — is there any other kind of cyberpunk landscape? — and I understand why this choice was made, the disjointed storytelling style was sometimes too opaque. The plot is a sort of PKD-style wigout, with characters moving through a kaleidoscope of memory and identity, which is already pretty disjointed. Still, the art was right up my alley and I bolted it down right quick.

Nils: The Tree of Life by Jérôme Hamon. A riff on Norse folktales in a high-tech/low-tech post-apocalyptic setting. The art is lovely. but the story itself felt a little shapeless. I don’t think the world-building was very good, because I was often perplexed by how things are supposed to work, and the cli-fi messaging felt loud? Or simplistic? But it was still a nice read. I’ve been chasing graphic novels which feel like Simon Stålenhag’s work, and this occasionally did.

Fine Print by Stjepan Šejić. The antics of lust demons and the heartbroken are the subject of this graphic novel. (Get it? Get it?? Phew.) I kinda wish I knew how this ended up in my holds, because I have no memory of putting it there. A lot more fucky than my usual tastes, Fine Print was nonetheless more wholesome and affirming than all the sex might imply. Šejić plays with the distinction between love and desire without prioritizing one or the other, a distinctly sex-positive take — so often sexual desire is treated as degraded. Better than expected, but there were still issues with samey looking people and a looser plot than I prefer (though that’s pretty typical with comics, so).

Punderworld by Linda Šejić. You’ll notice the same unpronounceable-by-me last name between this and Fine Print, so for sure I learned of one from the other. Cute retelling of Persephone and Hades, which doesn’t seem like it should be possible, given the various wretched aspects of the Greek myth: abduction, rape, incest. (And there are a lot of terrible dark fantasy takes on that myth, boy howdy.) Here, Hades is an adorable dork & Persephone effusive and sunny, and their descent into Hades is an almost slapstick tumble and not a gross violation.

Fantasy

Still reading a lot of lighter fantasy, which I assume will continue through the second Trump administration. I just don’t always have the bandwidth for harder stuff.

The Witch’s Diary by Rebecca Brae. Cute little epistolary number. It took me a minute to get into this, I think partially because the opening drags as our heroine fucks up job posting after job posting: she’s a post-college witch who has a big deal board accreditation in like a year, so she has to have a union-approved job for however long. But once things settle into a non-magical plane, aka modern America, I got a lot more invested and shot right through the last half. Sometimes a bit goofy for my tastes, it nevertheless had enough bureaucracy, casually well thought out magic, and genuinely funny slapstick to keep me happy.

Consort of Fire by Kit Rocha. Neat to see super queer romantasy with an emphasis on consent, but the first three quarters or more is so slow I struggled to stay engaged, and all the plot is back-loaded on the last couple chapters. This disengagement might be me, because this kind of high fantasy just isn’t my bag, and I don’t mean to ding the book for my predilections. I never did pick up the second in this duology, Queen of Dreams, but I might.

Books & Broadswords by Jessie Mihalik. Two cheerful but unremarkable fantasy novellas obviously written after the smash success of Travis Baldree’s Legends & Lattes. Both novellas included could be described as very loose retellings of Beauty & the Beast, but without a lot of danger. They both have dragons. I like dragons.

A Study in Drowning by Ava Reid. This YA novel is a cross between a Possession-style literary mystery and a haunted Gothic, which I’m 100% on board for. Especially because the Gothic was turned up pretty high: there were ghosts in diaphanous white dresses, a crumbling mansion, sins of the father, creepy townsfolk, etc. And the writing is very ornamented, just the right kind of overwritten for the subject matter. The pacing is slow and I didn’t feel the antagonistic heat between our leads, but this is one of those books which starts rough but ends well, which is way better than the reverse.

Bride by Ali Hazelwood. I feel like everyone read this book this year so you don’t need a plot synopsis, but here goes: A werewolf and a vampire have to marry to seal a treaty in a world where humans, weres, and vamps are at each other’s throats. It also manages to address a fantasy trope that I don’t see interrogated enough, namely the mate bond and what a huge nightmare being biologically obsessed with someone could potentially be. As I mentioned before, I’m into that. The dialogue is a lot of fun and I enjoyed the characters, even if it was occasionally aggressively trope-y. Oh, and I’m absolutely convinced Hazelwood thought to herself, “I am going to write a really tasteful knotting scene. Let’s mainstream that shit!” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t google it.

A Matter of Execution by Nicholas & Olivia Atwater. The name of this novella is a pun because it opens with our hero being rescued from execution by his quirky shipmates, which should give you an indication of the general tone. After the rescue, it turns into a heist, yasss. Though this is solidly steampunky fantasy, it has peripatetic space opera vibes, which I may have mentioned I’m into. This novella is clearly a set-up for a series, and you can bet your ass I’ll be reading more.

One-Offs

Sometimes things don’t fit into neat categories. I would say most of these are on the literary end of things, so even if they have fantasy or science fictional elements — my tastes being what they are — I wouldn’t feel comfortable, exactly, calling them sff.

Escape from Incel Island by Margaret Killjoy. That title slays, right? Fun little ditty about an Escape-from-NY style prison island populated by incels lured there by the promise of free women. Five years later, two AFAB folk are sent in to retrieve something important left behind when the island was left to the neckbeards, resulting in a completely goofy pilgrimage through the various fiefdoms which coalesced in the intervening years. A lot of fun for an exploration of misogyny, which is generally not fun at all.

The Dreamers by Karen Walker Thompson. Like her debut novel, The Age of MiraclesThe Dreamers will leave you with a pleasantly reflective sense of beautiful despair. The Dreamers details an epidemic of deep sleep caused by a virus and localized on a sleepy northern California college town. The novel had the unfortunate luck to be published in 2019, so there’s things in the plot that don’t quite ring true — the town is put under cordon sanitaire, for example, which would never happen in post-Covid America — but the tone is so musing and thoughtful, without a lot of over the top nonsense, which I really appreciate.

Depart! Depart! by Sim Kern. A Jewish trans kid ends up in the Dallas arena after Houston is functionally destroyed by a hurricane. A little bit cli-fi, a little bit apocalyptic, a little bit Jewish, and a whole lot queer. Normally I’m a bitch about this, but it’s third person present tense, which is fucking hard to pull off, so good job there. Kern uses ghosts — which are often avatars of our embarrassing, angry pasts — to very good effect, and I loved the main character.

Sleep Over: An Oral History of the Apocalypse. In a reverse of The Dreamers, Sleep Over is about an epidemic of sleeplessness, but the effect is universal, not localized. The story is told in the Studs Turkel-style format of books like World War Z. Like Brooks’ take on the zombie wars, the raconteurs sound pretty samey, but then the effects of profound sleeplessness seem well thought out. I read it on a flight after not getting enough sleep, which was also perfect. Also like WWZ, there were a couple sections I really didn’t like, but then the whole thing goes down pretty fast, so.

Corey Fah Does Social Mobility by Isabel Waidner. Something like both a satire and a po-mo farce, Corey Fah will have you saying “what the fuuuuuck” roughly one million times. The novel/la opens with the titular Corey winning a literary prize for the Fictionalization of Social Evils. In order to get the prize money, Corey must go round up a neon-beige blimp which remains stubbornly out of reach. That’s just the beginning of the weirdness. You know, I’m not going to pretend I got even half of what was going on in Corey Fah Does Social Mobility, but I know enough to say that ending was a banger. 

The Reformatory by Tananarive Due. As it happens, I’m going to start and end this list with a book by Tananarive Due. The Reformatory, which just won a raft of well-deserved awards, is a lyrical, brutal, essential novel about reform schools in the Jim Crow south where many young Black men were incarcerated and then murdered. It’s the kind of horror novel, like Toni Morrison’s Beloved, where the stomach-turning horror is historical fact; the supernatural elements — ghosts, in both novels — might occasionally startle, but they’re not going to form a mob and burn your fucking house down with you in it. The best book I read last year.

Final Thoughts

There’s another dozen or so novels that didn’t make it on this list, for various reasons. I didn’t note a bunch of rereads — like Grace Draven’s Radiance or Colson Whitehead’s Zone One — which I tend to turn to when I’m not feeling great. I’m also working back through a couple Elizabeth Hunter series, most notably the Irin Chronicles, because I know she does something nuts with the concept of the mate-bond in one, but I can’t remember how she got there. I also read some stupid stuff that I don’t have much to say about, and I don’t feel the need to be a dick about on the internet. (Weird, I know.) There’s also a handful of books I started and couldn’t finish, sometimes because of me, and sometimes because of the book. Like I stopped reading Tananarive Due’s My Soul to Keep at about the halfway mark. In some ways, the story is like Anne Rice’s vampire books: a morally ambiguous immortal does a lot of fuckshit, has feelings. But I knew it was going to end badly, and I just wasn’t up for it. That one was 100% on me.

So! That’s my reading this year. God knows what I’ll get up to in 2025. Happy reading!

Sharcano!!!1!

There’s this dismissive, tautological quote that goes something like, “People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like.” I can’t find a reputable source for this line — it’s been attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or a tumblr image of some cats — but it has the kind of epigrammatic pithiness that makes for great ad copy. I think you can fairly easily tell by the title whether you are in the audience of this book. Sharcano = shark + volcano!!!1! You know if this math is for you.

I guess I expected Sharcano to be a nod to pulp horror like anything by Guy N Smith, a journeyman writer who churned out well over a hundred novels, and, given that he isn’t dead yet, likely is churning them out still. (His wiki page notes that he is an “active pro-smoking campaigner”, which I find inordinately charming. I even smoke, and I know that shit ain’t good for anyone, mostly because I smoke.) I was expecting shoddy continuity, uproarious misogyny, and lurid bloodbath, the kind of thing banged out in two non-consecutive weekends with a lot of uppers in the mix.

But no, Sharcano is more a nod to big budget action disaster films, movies like Armageddon and The Day After Tomorrow. This is not a criticism; more an observation. There’s an estranged couple — one of whom is a massive television personality slash dillhole — so you’ve got your remarriage plot; a couple of moppets of various ethnicity; a priest at the focus of a shady Vatican conspiracy; some bubbas; sasquatch &c. There’s a lot of destruction that would work well better on the screen with Michael Bay-ish craptacular jump cuts, but then there’s a wry comedy aspect that would never be evident in a Michael Bay film.

What Sharcano reminds me most of is The Core, which is a silly disaster film complete with unobtainium and Stanley Tucci. The scene where Tucci is in a train car thing, about to die, bloviating into a tape recorder in his showboat way, and then starts laughing at the ridiculousness of such an act is one of my legit favorites. Almost as good as Samuel L in Deep Blue Sea starting into a monologue about how we’re not going to fight anymore! right before the supershark fucking drops the knowledge. Drop the knowledge, sharks made out of lava. We’ll catch up.

Here’s the thing: I’m not sure this book needs to be 400+ pages, and I’m seriously unsure that it should be the first in a trilogy. Sharcano is well better than it should be, a quality which gives with one hand and takes with another. Pulp’s got a certain energy to it, a rough, unedited pulse. Sharcano has a more arms-reach approach to the material, a half-ironic tone that tries to split the difference between straight up satire and gleeful homage. That’s a hard line to walk, very hard, and that Sharcano manages it at all should be seen as a win. If you like this sort of thing, as the cats of tumblr tell me, then this is the sort of thing you’ll like.

 

I received my copy from Netgalley. Thanks, dudes.

A Blog Post from 1898: 100 Best Novels

I saw this blog post on my feed this evening, thanks to a friend on a social networking site. The blog post describes a blog post from 1898, when the latter was posted in something called a “newspaper” – sound it out, kids – and it details the 100 novels the blogger (or “literary critic”) felt were the best 100 novels published to date. The critic was mad about Tristram Shandy – a book he felt was too odd – being lauded as a groundbreaking novel (which it is), and this list was his rejoinder. I’ll let you go take a look at the list. I’ll be here when you get back.

I’ve lost my taste for arguing which are the best novels because it feels like so much posturing and bullshit. Which, maybe that’s a lie (and more posturing) because I certainly get sucked into arguing them every time they come to my attention. I once saw a round up on Kirkus (which I can’t find at the moment) of the best science fiction slash fantasy, and I laughed until I fired off an angry letter. Not only did it read as something put together by someone who only read literary science fiction (which is a thing, I assure you), including just a ton of stuff by people like Atwood and Chabon who sit decidedly uneasy in the genre. (I’ll give you Yiddish Detective’s Union as spec fic or alt-history, but Kavalier & Clay? Please. That isn’t science fiction, unless all histories who have characters inserted into them that didn’t exist are speculative fiction. I think even the most hardened sff nerd would object to that.) But it wasn’t even that I disagreed with the definition of best – the list was pretty good – but that I disagreed with their concept of genre.

Anyway, my grudges against Kirkus aside, top 100 lists are funny things, generally more link-bait than anything, so it was a trip to see one from so long ago. (I think they’d call it “circulation-bait” back in the day.) The 2013 blog post about the 1898 critic rightly notes that the 1898 blogger is weirdly squeamish about including living writers, adding in an addendum of 8 works by those still breathing that he felt might make the cut of history. (And by and large, they do, or did.)  I think we do now rush to add living writers to the canon. Some of this is the fact that there are so many novelists now, and, as the form reaches its end-stage, there really is a lot of weird, form-breaking and remaking stuff out there. Maybe it won’t make the cut of history, but it certainly makes the cut of now.

And here I’ll just gesture to my pet theory that art forms, like the novel, or poetry, or whatever, have their rises to popularity and then falls, and I think right now we’re in the Decline of the Novel. Which is not to say that novels are getting worse, or that I think that that means it’s the End of Western Civilization or something, just as a form, the novel is being replaced by newer, sexier art forms as they work out their trajectories. Things like television. After the stale episodic nature of tv at the beginning, television is turning into something surprising and weird. Deadwood, The Wire, Community – these shows are all building on the tropes of the medium in ways that I find exhilarating. Sure, there’s a lot of crap out there, but 95% of anything is crap. Many of the works cited as the first examples of the novel in English are included in the  1898 list – Clarissa, Gulliver’s Travels, Robinson Crusoe – and as a well-established genre now, I think people tend to leave these off.  These works are formative and influential, but maybe not best. They belong on another list entirely.

I did find it interesting how many books by women make the list. That surprised me until I thought back to my 19th Century lit class, and about all the screaming and hand-wringing in the 19th C about how the novel was an example of the End of Western Civilization, its dangerous domesticity and lurid tropes read (and written) often enough by women to be suspect. Northanger Abbey – not on the list, but by Austen, who is on the list for another work – takes aim at Mysteries of Udolpho – on the list – for its hysterical Gothic trappings, and what they might do to impressionable minds. Anyone who was Serious and Important was writing poetry in the 19th C, and the novel was for icky and suspect things like social commentary – Trollope, Dickens, Morris – or girls – Brontes, Austen, Eliot – or horror/Gothic – Radcliffe, Le Fanu – or sentimentalists – Cummins, Stowe.

Though formative doesn’t always mean the works will stand up – I think the weird titles I’ve never ever heard of attest to that – sometimes 1898 nails it, like Pride and Prejudice or Jane Eyre. Sometimes it’s like, why Salammbô and not Madame Bovary? We can agree that Flaubert was awesome, but not which work was the awesomest. I don’t think anyone reads Uncle Tom’s Cabin except as an artifact of history; it’s not “good” so much as “historically important”. My dad and I recently had a conversation about James Fenimore Cooper, who is included on the list. His English teacher in high school looooooved Cooper, and assigned him copiously, but I don’t think, short of the movie with hunky sex-pot Daniel Day Lewis, anyone knows who he is anymore. Same goes for Trollope, and Le Fanu, and Burney and, and… Many of these novelists have become the fodder for footnotes, and the boutique interests of novel nerds. They may be good, or influential, or occasionally both, but they’re also forgotten.

The elisions are also important. Whither Moby Dick? I think we can all with rancor and fighting agree that Moby Dick might be the first Great American Novel. But, it is my understanding that Melville died in obscurity, and it was only later critics/bloggers who dug Melville out of the ash pit of history to straddle American literature with his great, white, swinging whale. (That’s a dick joke, friends.) Which kind of makes me want to live for another 100 years, so I can see what novels I’m totally missing, the secret ground-breakers, the oddballs, the things that make literary critics/bloggers so mad they have to make a list of the 100 best novels to counter them. That’s the stuff I want to be reading: the things that piss the Brahmans of literature off. The things the list-makers miss because they’re too odd. The things the list-makers avoid.

The thing I notice about lists is that the books that tend to get listed year after year, century after century, are controversial in some way. A novel that is revered by everyone as “good” when it is written often just sinks into obscurity, because good is often boring and too culturally specific. To write a lasting work, you have to piss people off, break rules, and generally fuck with expectations. That’s what I want in a novel. When I don’t want comfort food, of course. Being the problem with the concept of “best.”

 

William Shakespeare’s Star Wars

I have a fractious relationship with Quirk Books. No, fractious isn’t the right word, is it? Because they don’t know I exist nor do they (or should they) care about my opinion? I was excited for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies because the idea rules, but then it turned out soggy and under-heated. But then came the clones – Jane Slayre: The Literary Classic with a Blood-Sucking TwistThe Meowmorphosis – which mimeographed this idea into a purple-blue stew of end-cap bait, finally culminating, for me anyway, in the dire shit-show that was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls. That book made my blood boil. 

Because, look, I don’t really mind end-cap bait, and I don’t mind the toilet reads that publishers put out to give my non-reading friends and family something to give me when my birthday rolls around. (“I know you like Jane Austen! I think you’ll love this!”) I’m not even being an asshole when I say I appreciate the thought. So when the illustrious and inimitable karen sent me William Shakespeare’s Star Wars out of the blue, I thought, uh oh, I’m going to have to make the choice between my desire to shittalk this book, and being a grateful and worthy human. Again! Why am I such a terrible person? etc.

But as it turns out, hey Mickey! She likes it! So, phew. There’s a dry conversation one can have about translations: which is better, a translator writing from the original language, or one writing to the target language. Is the translator’s mother tongue the original or the translated language? My own take is that it’s almost always better to write to the target language. I once read this biography of Rasputin that was obviously translated by a native Russian speaker, and while it was often hilarious, and I enjoyed the wobbly prose as a desultory Russian language student, you just can’t mix verb tenses like that in English, товарищ. 

I think there’s something of the translation problem in the mash-up, for the reader at least. P&P&Z was probably more aimed at the Austen nerds, because the zombie parts were really more about ninjas, and big swaths of the text were from Austen herself. So you rate it as an Austen nerd, not a zombie nerd – if you happen to be both, like me. (A straight up zombie nerd should probably just stay away.) As an Austen nerd, it was mostly just perplexing, like, what exactly are you saying about Charlotte? Also, you get that messing with the chronology messes with…oh Jesus, nevermind. I really liked the cover and study guide, so I guess thanks for that, Quirk Books. 

By the time Dawn of the Dreadfuls rolled around, that book managed to drop trou and dump on both Austen nerds and zombie nerds – remember, I’m both, so double dump for me – which turned the translation problem into a Zen koan of Not Giving a Fuck. If the translator in question doesn’t care about either language, that’s what you get. (And I’m going to throw in the disclaimer that if you’re neither kind of nerd – Austen nor zombie – then you’ll probably think whatever about all my shouting.) Point being, it is clear to me that Doescher is a Star Wars nerd – that’s the language he is translating to – which I think is a pretty good choice. I’m going to wince when he drops a Naboo reference because I spend a fair amount of energy pretending the prequels never happened, but then I’m also going to hand-clap about a sly reference to nerf herding, which, you know, wasn’t a thing until The Empire Strikes Back. Ahem. Shut up. 

So this isn’t really for Shakespeare nerds. (Do you people exist? I mean, I’m sure you exist, but are you reading slovenly populist Internet reviews?) I wrote this whole thing aping Shakespeare to start my review, but it turns out when I try to write that way, I end up sounding like a pirate. Avast, me hearties! God’s teeth! and all that. So, we’ll give Ian Doescher some props for pretty solid metered dialogue, plus he manages to pull off an occasional heroic couplet that made me smile. I did spend some time discovering this handy nit-picker I got as a booby prize for being an English major had somehow gotten into my hand, and then having to put it away. I’m like an unconscious nit-picker fast-draw, matey. All the short’ning o’ words wit’ apostr’phes to make fit the met’r makes me freak out. Just, ugh. Also, I kept thinking things like, “Other than maybe the chorus in Henry V, who is present at the beginning of every act, Shakespeare didn’t really use a chorus throughout the action like that. That’s really more a feature of Classic Greek playwrights.” But then I gave myself a wedgie. Language from, babies, even if it’s kinda dumb. It’s dumb with jokes about R2D2 monologuing about stuff as an aside, which is pretty freaking fantastic.

So thanks, karen. This rules. 

Stephen Fry, Lynne Truss & Grammar

I just ran across this video done by Stephen Fry and Matthew Rogers about grammar. I started it expecting one of those “ho ho, look at the philistines” tidbits, but it ended up being a sweeter, more compassionate entreaty to be mindful of how strict adherence can destroy a joy in language. I interact with people in a text-based medium all the time – probably more than when I actually talk out loud to humans, sadly – and I know I cringe and want to drop a *you’re when I see the possessive substituted for the contraction. But, unless I’m dealing with a troll, that is an uncharitable thing to do. Let’s just have a good time, slash be inventive.

(More videos can be found at RogersCreations)
(And if the embed is jacked, which it always is, link here.)

Fry’s sexy little ramble hits the ambivalence I felt when reviewing Lynne Truss’s Eats, Shoots & Leaves – he name-checks her as well at some point – which is about punctuation, an even more abstruse subset of grammatical rules than your usual split infinitive nonsense. Typographical rules tend to be scattershot and local, and many of them are in place because of physical limitations of typesetting machines that no longer factor. Sure, the grocer’s comma makes me laugh a lot of the time, like a sign hanging in the hospital coffee room when my son was hospitalized that managed to put an apostrophe in every word that didn’t need one, and removed them from the ones that did. Which, thank the signifier for that badly needed laugh. The original review of Truss’s book is below.

Recently, the boy made a sign for the door of his bedroom that reads “Keep Out. Not for baby’s.” His spelling is largely self-taught, as he is not yet in kindergarten and I am a somewhat lazy parent-educator. This made me have a Noam Chomsky-ish melt-down about the concept of generative punctuation. Lord, is the grocer’s comma innate? Is it mapped on our brains like the double negative? Am I really his mother?

This book has been sitting on my bedside table for no less than two years. I read it only when I can’t be bothered to go in search of my real book or the book with which I’m cheating on my real book. For some reason, I don’t think of this book that fondly when I’m not reading it, and then I’m pleasantly surprised whenever I pick it up again. But I have this jarring sensation when I read it, akin to the feeling I get when I read articles about neuroscience: holy buckets, I’m using my brain to think about my brain! She’s using punctuation in a book about punctuation. Hey, don’t bogart that.

This book makes me feel weird because I don’t think of myself as a stickler. I am both lazy and exuberant when it comes to punctuation. I have an unfortunate love affair with the semi-colon; it cannot be helped. I also overuse parentheses because I think they are funny. (I tried, and failed, to not type a parenthetical comment here; oh crap, and there’s the semi-colon.) My comma use borders on the Henry Jamesish. Why make simple declarative statements when things can be jammed together into one enormous run-on sentence, comma splices everywhere, and…my word, what has she done with the verb? This is the kind of writing this book provokes from me, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

When I was living in a dorm my first year of school, the housekeeper would put up missives with the most tortured punctuation all over the building. She was a kindly women, older, and cleaned up our crap for probably not much more year than was required for tuition. (Unsurprisingly, I only spent a year at this institution.) Regularly, jerk students would correct her signs and laugh about how bad the punctuation was – and it truly was bad. This has always bothered me. Of course good punctuation provides a clarity of expression when attempting to convey a clarity of ideas. Of course. But sometimes you should just pick up your fucking towel’s, jackholes, regardless of whether they possess anything.

It was a relatively painless way to brush up on the punctuation rules I’ve now largely forgotten, and will no doubt forget again in roughly fifteen seconds. I usually have the attention span of a very distracted raccoon when it comes to non-fiction, so it is saying something that I finished this book at all, even if it took two years. Oh, look! something shiny! And that does it for my three exclamation points for the year, alas.

3 Things I’m Glad Didn’t Exist 20 Years Ago

I just turned 39, which I wasn’t all that pleased about for a number of reasons, some of which are none of your beeswax. But one reason is that it’s a joke age, a place where the oldometer stops for a lot of people, a numerical cultural signifier for “actually, a lot older than 39”. So it’s like turning 40, but worse, because I don’t actually get to own that I’m 40, instead looking like some kind of liar. I admit I’ve overthought this, but it’s my party.

So my husband was watching dross on Netflix, the way he does, and hit upon Tiny Furniture – if you like this you’ll like that, etc. I didn’t even get an individual assessment out of him so much as him reading out the wiki page about mumblecore film-making in absolute horror. Unscripted digital video with a focus on naturalistic dialogue! He shouted. Bah. I haven’t seen any of the mumblecore titles listed, but ignorance hasn’t stopped me from making fun of something before, and I’m not going to stop now. Whenever I see Ed Burns talk about his “low-budg” aesthetic – even the term makes my gonads shrink – I want to die a little. Oh, another lazy, hideously filmed family drama about a lovable asshole being half-redeemed by the love of a someone or something whatever monologue about how it totally sucks when you burn your fingers getting Hot Pockets out the microwave!

It’s not the digital video: I’ve made my peace with that. Digital video can be used brilliantly, like in 28 Days Later, where the shaky, hand held quality and the sub-cinema quality worked with the subject like nobody’s business. The end of the world is seriously fucking nigh indeed. It’s not even low budget film, because I love all kinds of low budget movies, from Evil Dead to Primer. Maybe it’s just that digital video, with it’s lower barrier to entry – you don’t have to know anything about film, in a technical sense, which might mean you don’t know anything about film, in the more metaphorical sense. It’s like the old joke about the film student wondering about why no one goes to the bathroom in movies, and then makes a film comprised of exclusively that. No one goes to the bathroom in movies because that’s stupid and no way to tell a story.

Which brings me back to my shaky point (which isn’t that I’m mad that I’m getting old, completely): I’ve said for a while now, maybe two full years, that I’m so happy that I didn’t have fucking facebook when I was a kid. Good god. Adolescence was bad enough without an indelible record of my idiocy and assholery out there in the world, and that’s not even getting into the idiocy and assholery of my peers. (And I even cringe about stuff I wrote on the Internet 5 years ago, when I was supposedly an adult.) It doesn’t surprise me at all that many of my younger friends and family have deleted their facebook accounts, or inactivate them for long periods of time.

I’m also happy that there wasn’t self-publishing, because, speaking of indelible, I could see my younger self self-publishing the crap out of some seriously painful sophomoric poetry, and that my seriously painful sophomoric poetry is only available in unavailable high school and college journals makes me a happy cat indeed. It was sweet that my shit juvenile writing was set to the page and all, but that it’s ephemeral is part of its charm. We should be able to bury our pasts, which certainly happens in the constant crushing content-production of the Internet; the good news is, people are rarely listening anyway. But someone can still do the hard google though, and that is ouch.

So the third thing I’m glad didn’t exist when I was young enough to take liberties is mumblecore filmmaking. Not that I ever had any interest in film, except as an audience, but I could totally see younger me thinking, hey, why not? when a friend decided to stage some self-indulgent mumble drama, and there I’d be, for all time, doing some walk-on as a barista or girl at the party fudging my lines and generally sucking. (I wouldn’t mind dying in a horror film, though, whatever that says about me.) I recently stumbled over some clueless young man’s personal manifesto, which he wrote in Socratic dialogue as something approximating a novel. The last pages, which I read, have an author-proxy totally burning a television reporter after she asks a bunch of softballs. Cold dis, imaginary reporter! I laughed myself sick and then praised the baby Jesus that self-publishing didn’t exist when I was 20.

So I guess what I’m saying is that on some level I’m glad I’m old, because I can’t imagine younger me navigating this brave new world with any kind of aplomb, given that older me doesn’t have a ton of restraint. I’m getting better at backing away from the keyboard. Even then, I can imagine a 59 year old Ceridwen reading these words and shaking her head. You poor, dumb slob.

Christmas Stars: What to Get Your Younger Brother

When they finally prove the existence of the chronoton – that’s the time particle for you folks who haven’t been wallowing in science fiction lo these many years – no doubt the Christmas season will be involved. Some mad scientist will put together one of those rad boxes with der blinken lights and point it at some American trying harriedly to pack up a bunch of boxes and sign cards and survive the company Christmas party without vomiting up gross milk-based hard alcohol concoctions & anger about the recent massive layoffs on management, and the scientist will actually see the chronotons pouring off this frazzled American. Christmas sucks up all your time. All of it. It’s a black hole; a gravity well; an event horizon of weight gain and family squabbles. 


Given my tendency to misuse science concepts in the service of my Christmas melt-down, it probably shouldn’t be surprising that some enterprising editor put together a truly awesome Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of fictional delights: You got my Christmas in your science fiction! Yum. There are two things that I’m astonished by when think of Christmas Stars: Fantastic Tales of Yuletide Wonder. First, that there are enough science fiction stories about Christmas to warrant a pretty hefty anthology. Second, that some of my favorite SFF Christmas stories – which includes “Santa was” by Neil Gaiman collected in Fragile Things: Short Fictions and Wonders and something by Charles de Lint that was about a talking dog – aren’t even included in this anthology. And third, that I can even think of other stories that could be included, but weren’t. I guess that’s three and not two. I’ll come in again. 

So, science fiction nerds, get your ass in gear and get down to whatever random thrift store has this lurking on its shelves. I’m not one for evil gift guides, but if you haven’t been able to think of anything for your younger brother, and you don’t want to get involved in the specifics of his Warhammer obsessions – honestly, whatever you get him will be wrong – this is the book for you. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he’s got on a little space suit, and so do the reindeer, and the sleigh is a spaceship. Oh, yes.


Darth Vader and Son by Jeffrey Brown

Aww, you guys, this is so cute.

 Darth Vader and Sonis not particularly weighty – really more a series of punchlines and moments than a narrative – but got a gentle, almost wistful sensibility in with all the sight gags. Darth Vader, it turns out, has the same kind of distracted, lightly exasperated style of parenting that a lot of us Xers have fallen into. Because it also turns out that kids don’t get irony for a very long time – or ever, if some of the comments I see on reviews are an indication – and sometimes irony is the only defense against potty training.

Sometimes these little toilet reads or impulse books can feel mercenary or half-assed, like they were just slapped together for a buck. I don’t get that vibe here at all, though I could be bringing my love of Jeffrey Brown in from other books I’ve read of his. But no, I’ll go with it: this has the feel of care, and also the near earnestness of Brown’s humor. He’s not sarcastic or mean, but at the same time he stays out of treacle or overt sentiment. God, it’s just so adorable.

I’m totes getting this for my brother-in-law. Shhh, nobody tell him.

Unsafe on Any Screen

I’m really trying here to come up with a Walter Benjamin quote about media studies and engagement with popular culture, and I’m totally failing, which is about right. Obviously, I spend waaaay too much time reading all of y’alls lovely, personal reviews of all kinds of books. Books I would never read; books I have been warned away from; books I’ve been ordered to read; books I have on the long and growing list that I will never complete because some day I’m going to die. 

Even though I have less engagement with movies, as an art form, I compulsively read movie reviews as well. I have the reviewers I trust, and the reviewers I know that I can take anything they say and turn it inside out, so that a bad review becomes a recommendation. I have a passing interest in trash movies, but not a full-blown love affair. Mostly my affection for bad movies leads back to Mystery Science Theater 3000, and the times I spent with my family watching MST3K. My immediate family, growing up, was all-female, and I still have the warmest of memories of watching bad movies on Thanksgiving, with my mother & sister, in lieu of the football that was de rigueur in most co-ed households.

Scott S. Phillips doesn’t just have nostalgia to warm him when he watches grindhouse trash, he has a full-blown and well articulated love. This is awesome, and makes for a fine collection of movie reviews. Leonard Maltin, you may fu*k yourself. Many of the movies reviewed in this slender volume cannot be found on Netflix or even in your local video store, should you have such antiquated things in your location. You have to seek these movies out. They are made by people on no budget, with a group of friends, and a maniacal laugh. Or they were made on a budget and then disappeared. Phillips has an encyclopedic knowledge of the pedigree and taxonomy of trash cinema, so that he can draw lines between this director and that, this actor, this imprint, etc. Awesome. 

I get the impression that this book started life as a blog, so some of the reviews are annoying short. Kind of like my – and many people’s – early Goodreads reviews. But once he starts cooking, man, what a joy to behold. He has really weird grading scales: one about how many greased gorillas he’d fight to watch the film in question, and one about how many scotches, or whiskeys? it takes to get through the film. I endorse this. The scotch metric in particular, not because I especially love scotch, but because it can be either a bad or a good thing that a particular film is awarded the high scotch metric. I feel this way about a thousand things: that they are awesome, but they make me drink, or that they are terrible, and they make me drink. Or they are nothing at all and I remain sober. It gets at the whole deep ambivalence I feel towards so much stuff, even the stuff I love, in an intensely satisfying way. My only real complaint is that there is no index. At least the reviews are alphabetical. 

What it comes down to is that I’m as fascinated by the critical process as I am with the art/trash in question, and this book is as much a love letter to the silly fun we have while watching bad movies as it is to the movies themselves. His exuberance is infectious, like an alien pathogen beamed down to a small Italian village that infects a scantily clad babe. It’s going to eat someone’s brains, but it might just take its top off before it does so. 

Keep circulating the tapes.

Unsafe on Any Screen: Cinematic Sleaze and Cheese